Saturday, December 20, 2008

A Modern Inferno...

I guess it's the teacher in me....
Ever since we've had our first cold blast (and ensuing snowball fights), the heat has been on in our building. Normally at this time of year, that's not a problem. Right now, however, with the extreme fluctuation of temperature (the high for today is near 80!), we're enduring a sort of hell.
So, I've been comparing this building and its many rooms to Dante's Inferno. When it's warm outside and the heat is on, there is little relief to be had while you're working.
Unfortunately, we don't have a great Roman poet to guide, I'll be your guide if you'll follow me. We start by entering the 'drill hall' or what was the chow hall in the old days. That cavernous area is usually close to the outside temperature...where the trees are so it's like the wooded area that Dante wanders around in. This is the Vestibule.
The double doors to the building can function as the Gates of Hell in a sense...Abandon All Logic Ye Who Enter Here. Come on in...we open the door to a blast of heat. Welcome to 'Hell'. Charon is not available right now to ferry you around, that's still me.
The first floor of the building could be Limbo. So many things that can kinda happen or not....we just never know. Many souls here claim innocence. Then you have the Circles of Hell, nine in all. For our purposes these Circles are some of our rooms here in the building. Each room or circle has its own level of 'punishment' and temperature.
We enter a small stairwell and work our way up to the second floor. Upon entering the 2nd floor of the building, the heat becomes uncomfortable. Little beasties surround you screaming, "Get out!", their faces contort with pleasure and they writhe in euphoric bliss. Stroll into my office and the temperature rises. In here the River Styx winds around the desks, the wrathful pulled here and there in the current.
At one end of the building is the City of Dis. A city within our confines of Hell. Flaming demons guard the gate and an Angel arrives to force the door open for us. Major and minor creatures rule here. Centaurs, angels, and demons stomp about, focusing on this and that. As you leave you can see the souls of the wicked strike and bite each other and fed to the god of riches, Pluto. The Hall of Hounds lead you to our destination...
The beasties flutter about gasping and pulling at you to enter the mouth of Hell. You may want to stop to examine the masses of policy letters and announcements curling on the bulletin board...but you need to keeping following me into the Ninth Circle...the admin room. Standing at the threshold of the room, the heat pounds your body in waves.
In this room is Sgt. Zoeller, frothing into the phone, typing frantically with three hands, and guarding his hoard of bottle caps on his desk. Here, his eyes glance upon you and me and he rants off into a rapid, incoherent tangent and we are told to climb down the stairs and float down the River Lethe, the river of forgetfulness, back out to the wood. The burly demons who guard the building rudely request a card swipe or you will never get to make your exit.
The Gates of Hell slowly close and we are left to contemplate our remaining time in the reserve center. Another cold blast is forcasted to hit us very soon and we'll be heading back home for a short time. Wait....didn't we just go somewhere?

No comments:

Post a Comment